When Life Goes Sideways
Invested Podcast | Season 1, Episode 5
We chat with Samantha Russell and Linda Grant-Smith about preparing for unexpected life events and how to handle them when they happen.
In This Episode
Samantha Russell
Chief Evangelist, FMG
In her role, Samantha helps business owners understand how digital marketing can transform how they find and engage clients today, as well as 10 years from now.
Linda Grant-Smith, EA, CPWA®, CFP®
Wealth Strategist, Baird
Linda is a regional financial planner at Baird, having joined the firm in 2017. Her compassion, wisdom and story-like approach to financial planning enables her to guide and support those around her.
Jaleigh White, CPA, CPWA®
Director of Baird Family Wealth, Baird
Jaleigh is an expert within Baird’s Private Wealth Management business. She’s made it her life’s mission to ensure multigenerational families can access the resources they need to navigate major life transitions.
Moderator:
Angela Pittman Taylor
Director of Corporate Communications, Baird
Since joining Baird in 1998 as an intern, Angela has held various roles in our PR and corporate communications teams. Today, she leads Baird’s PR team and Chicago-based brand strategy and also advises on Baird’s inclusion & diversity initiatives.
Transcript
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Meet our guests – Samantha Russell, FMG, and Linda Grant-Smith, Baird
Angela Pittman Taylor: Hello, and welcome to Invested, Advancing Women in Work and Wealth, brought to you by Baird. I'm your host, Angela Pittman Taylor. On this podcast, we're having candid discussions with some of the most ambitious, high achieving women in business today. This show is a resource for women who aspire to break barriers, build wealth, and gain wisdom along the way.
Angela Pittman Taylor: We're hosting a five episode mini series on the sandwich generation. My cohost for the series is Jaleigh white. Hey, Jaleigh, how are you?
Jaleigh White: Good, Angela. How are you doing today?
Angela Pittman Taylor: I'm doing really well. So, today's topic for our conversation is caring for ourselves as we experience being a part of this sandwich. And we're going to be talking about some of the curve balls that can come to us, during this time, like divorce, widowhood and more. And we're going to explore how to best care for ourselves, and we have two excellent guests joining us today. And so, Jaleigh, I'm going to throw it to you to introduce them.
Jaleigh White: Great. Thank you so much Angela. Yeah, it's people that have a passion for this topic, have experienced it personally, and with those that they advise and help in their community.
I'm thrilled to introduce Samantha Russell, as she said, Chief Evangelist, at FMG. Samantha, you’ve just helped so many of our advisers provide valuable information to their clients. And I love the passion you have about so many topics that are important to our clients and the way that you help our advisors engage with them in a deeper level. But today it's a little more personal – some of the topics we're going to be talking about with you. So, we appreciate your willingness to share your story with us. Welcome to Invested.
Samantha Russell: Thank you so much for having me. I'm happy to be here.
Jaleigh White: Our other guest is one of our Baird own, Linda Grant-Smith. Linda is a wealth strategist. She advises families on all of these topics, for many years. Linda was an advisor herself and now is in that role of helping other advisors with deep planning strategies and really, life planning for clients as they go through major transitions in their life. She has a host of designations from CFP to CPWA. Enrolled agent on the tax. She really can cover every topic that's relevant to clients as they go through life’s events. And Linda, some of those are unexpected and they are curveball. So, welcome to the conversation today.
Linda Grant-Smith: Thank you so much. I am so glad to be among you today.
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Samantha’s journey
Jaleigh White: This is a personal topic for a lot of us. For me, it really was something that became relevant to me in my 40s. I had a group of four friends. As we were approaching our mid-40s, we'd all been married about 20 years and within two years, two of them were widows and two of them were divorced.
And it instilled in me a passion to make sure that every woman felt prepared for those life events that might happen. And Linda and Sam, I know that you’ve experienced that personally and with clients actually. So, Samantha, if you don't mind, we'd just love to start with you and hear a little bit about your story and why this topic is so personal for you.
Samantha Russell: Before I was with FMG, my late husband and I, had a business called Twenty Over Ten that we started, that helped financial advisors with their marketing. And, in 2020 we sold it to FMG and it's interesting looking back on it because at the time we kept thinking, is it the right time? You know, we knew they were a great partner, but it's a big deal when it's your baby or you know, your business that you've built. And what a blessing it was with the timing because shortly thereafter he had been suffering from some debilitating headaches, and I got pregnant shortly after we sold the business with our third child. And when our third child was just three months old, my husband was diagnosed with glioblastoma. Which is the worst brain cancer you can get. I don't think there's any such thing as good brain cancer, but it's definitely the worst, most aggressive. There is no cure. And when you get it, it really is just, in a lot of ways a death sentence because the average person lives without treatment about six months, with some interventions, usually about 16-17 months.
So your ability to make decisions and care for yourself – it affects every part of your body, the way the brain does. And I was 37 when he passed away in October of 2023, and he had just turned 41. So, you know, we were like hikers and obsessed with working out and eating healthy and just like the last thing you would expect. So, this topic is so important to me because as you mentioned, you know, at those ages, I look at all the couples and friends around us, nobody's thinking about estate planning. I mean, they might say like, I need to set up a will, so I know who's going to take care of my kids, but there's so much more that goes into it, to make sure that you and your partner, which, you know, whatever might be, that you'll have your wishes respected when the time comes. And so now I'm such an advocate for talking about this and sharing my story, not to scare people, but just to help them be prepared.
Jaleigh White: What a tragic situation that you went through and at such already a busy time of life with selling your business, having a new baby, having two other children. So, you immediately were thrust into that role of caregiver as well as all of the new business and taking care of your children. How did you even find time to care for yourself through that process?
Samantha Russell: I didn't do a good job at first. I was not sleeping. My mom and dad are amazing, and they came from Ohio to help us. I'm very lucky that my mom was there because she would force me to eat. She would force me to go lay down, the way mothers do. And one of the things that really saved me, I think, through all of that was, I've always loved to work out. And I didn't have the energy to do hard, strenuous workout, but I would go every day for a one hour walk. And that, I will say was one of the best things I did through that, was finding that hour once a day.
Jaleigh White: Yeah, it's so important to also take care of yourself so that you can be a help to others. In so many situations, people are like, “No, I'm just going to power through. I'm going to do this. I'm going to I can handle this.” And having that great support network, especially when it's your mom, especially when it's family, is so important. So grateful that you had that, but also that you let them in.
Samantha Russell: If someone's listening to this, and you're not going through this, but you're wondering how you can help someone. I think not waiting to be asked, because so many people who are used to being self-sufficient, they don't want to ask. You know, my friend group set up a meal train, and I did not cook a meal for over six months at one point. Every single day, there was something dropped off, and I would have never in a million years asked for that. But they didn't wait for me to say, yes, can we? They just did it. You know, and I think that's how you can help people.
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Linda’s story
Jaleigh White: Yeah, that's great advice. I saw someone that had gone through some similar situations say, “don't just ever ask me, ‘oh, let me know if there's anything I can do to help.’ I will never call you. But if you say, ‘I'm going to do this for you, unless you tell me not to,’ or ‘here's three things I could do to help, tell me which one would be the biggest help,’” that specificity that, you know, leaning in, in a very specific way can sometimes be the biggest help.
Linda, I can't imagine how many clients you've helped through so many situations. Caregiving is one of those. What are some of the things that, you see that we could all do to be better prepared for that caregiving role and also talk a little bit about what are some of the impacts to women that step away from their life to provide some of those caregiving services.
Linda Grant-Smith: Well, Samantha, it took all I had not to shed a tear while you're telling your story, so thank you for smiling your way through it. I had two friends who also were thrust into the caregiver role early in their marriage. One was just 20. They had been married a year and had two kids already. The other friend was 30 and had two small children. And both of their husbands, one developed early onset Parkinson's and the other one dove into a wave and was paralyzed from the neck down. So, in those instances, both of them became caregivers.
The one in her thirties, she had everything financially prepared. She had disability insurance on her husband. They had wills, they had power of attorneys, you know, the legal documents in effect to be able to step in and help, but what she wasn't prepared for was just what you mentioned, the independence. She could not let go of her independence and she could not accept help, and she still struggles with that today.
The other one, the 20-year-old, she had no preparations whatsoever, but she had an amazing support network and she also had a very good attitude towards, I'm just going to do the best that I can right here and accept the help.
She developed a hobby outside of taking care of her husband – she hadn't had a career yet. She developed a hobby of creating things like bridal gowns, like very intricate, focused, hands-on things. And so that hobby for her developed into a career during this process.
So your outlet, I think, is super important, what I've seen with my clients and friends. The other one who struggled to accept help struggled to find an outlet and ultimately did find yoga as an outlet for herself. But I think it's really important to be able to decompress and then refocus your energies in something apart from being a caregiver so you're not entirely swallowed.
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Stepping into a caregiving role
Jaleigh White: Great advice from both of you. I like that terminology, Linda, that puts your personal outlet where you can step out of that caregiver role into something else. Angela, what about you, women in your life that you've seen step into a caregiving role? Sometimes expected, you know, people aging, parents age, and sometimes unexpected.
Angela Pittman Taylor: I think a lot of what you said about offering help and accepting help, particularly when people are self-sufficient, and there's a lot of pride and sense of identity involved in that sense of independence and self-sufficiency, it can be very challenging.
And I really liked what you said Jaleigh about being very specific in the offer of help. That that can really almost in a way provide permission to accept it. Because then you're not just, blanket saying, “No, no, I'm good. I'm fine.” It makes it a lot easier to accept what's being offered.
When you're the friend and you're trying to help, and everything feels like you're not doing enough. You want to do more. That's a challenge too. It's not as hard as what your friend is going through, but it's also a challenge just trying to rally around and do what they can and find the way through to the other side. And eventually you do get to the other side, but it's a journey.
Jaleigh White: One of the people that Linda and I work with talks about this period of transition in any of these instances. Samantha, when you sell a business, or divorce, or widowhood – you become an empty nester. All those big life events, it takes you two to four years to get to the new normal. Whatever that might be.
And so I think a lot of the things that we can do to help people is, you know, give them grace with themselves. That after a big event, you're not supposed to have everything figured out for what your life's going to look like and to have patience with yourself after that for a period of time.
Everything we just talked about too, I think is complicated by the complexities of health care. So, you really have to become that advocate for the person that your caregiving for from a health care standpoint. To be that coordinator. Any suggestions on how to help women when they're in that caregiver role, really become that health advocate in a helpful way.
Samantha Russell: One of the things I was thinking about through all of this is, a lot of times when this first happens to you, you get like, whether, you know, somebody has an accident, or they get a new diagnosis.
To your point about, it takes a little while. The person who's in the caregiver role isn't thinking long term. They're like in the thick of it. They're just trying to get through the day. And so they might initially think like, oh, I don't need help right now because they're not thinking about it lasting a long period of time. So, I think making sure to circle back, even if they won't let you help initially, they might become worn down in weeks or months and then be open to it.
So don't stop asking, but with the medical stuff, you know, I did not realize it would become another full-time job for me. Especially with brain cancer because there is no cure. You have to fill out so much paperwork because there's all these clinical trials and different treatments. You know, maybe there's a treatment for diabetes but you can do what they call, compassionate use. You can fill out paperwork to have the doctor approve it for compassionate use, but you have to jump through all these hoops and get your doctor and, you know, the doctor that maybe is prescribing the drug, all on the same page.
And so one of the things that was so helpful, I had a friend who, she didn't live in my town, but she pulled up my kid's calendar online – a school calendar – and she would be, okay, I know Valentines Day is coming up, and she sent me all their Valentines. Easter's coming up and sent me a million different things for Easter baskets or Halloween costumes. And she was just taking something off my plate mentally because I had all these other things that I needed to do.
I had another friend who knew the phone calls took so long, so she would come over in the morning, bring me a Starbucks and say, “I'll sit with Ryan so you can go be on the phone.”
So again, I think you need to know people and whether they're going to resist it, but nobody's going to hate you for showing up and saying, “I'm here to help.” They can kick you out of their house, but that was so incredibly helpful, both of those things. And I'll always remember them.
Jaleigh White: That's great.
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What are the most important legal documents you need in place?
Linda Grant-Smith: So, Jaleigh, the documents that you might need probably as soon as you partner up. And Jaleigh and I, when we're working with clients, we say when your child turns 18, you no longer have any legal right to act on their behalf in a medical setting. So, getting healthcare power of attorney for your 18-year-old, or even the newly married, or the newly parents, health care powers of attorney’s. So, you can easily navigate HIPAA consent form. So you can easily navigate and not have to fight a legal battle to care for the one you love. I think that's super important.
I was reading some statistics that the average age of a caregiver is 50 years old, and I thought it'd be a little bit older. But hearing the stories from today, you can understand where an average is, the average of the young and the old put together, and that there's 42 million caregivers here in the United States today.
And you had asked Jaleigh, what impact does it have on generally a woman's life? Generally, the woman is the caregiver and oftentimes the oldest daughter is called into that role for their in-laws or their parents. It can be devastating to your career. So, I was thinking about the three things that matter.
It seems you've got to communicate with your partner about these things before it happens, even when you're young. You've got to understand where the other one is coming from and then you've got to find yourself standing alone in a stable position. So, if you're relying on one spouse for income, let's make sure there's enough set aside for the first year or two, if something happens. Either disabling condition or death, either money set aside or shift the risk to an insurance policy, but the legal documents and the products available to help you no matter what stage of life you're in. You've got to communicate about it first, understand each other's position, and then find the stability.
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How can you start to talk with your parents about future caregiving needs?
Jaleigh White: Linda, I love that you brought in parents.
We know aging is coming and brings with it life changes. So, when you think of all the women that are listening today who are like, I don't know what it's going to mean, but I know it's coming. My parents are aging. My spouse's parents are aging and I know it's going to impact me. How do I really get prepared for helping aging parents or helping them deal with the death of a spouse at some point in the future?
So, how do we even start those conversations with our parents? And in a respectful way that they'll be open to. And what are some of the key things we need to do so that they know how to help when the time comes?
Linda Grant-Smith: Listen to this podcast because then it's going to open up the conversation. And as I did last week, you say, “Mom, if something were to happen to you where you broke a hip because she has a condition, what would you want to see happen?” And she told me specifically where she wanted to go for rehab and then where she wanted to go after rehab.
So, we had a very specific conversation. But she knows that's my field. But I think, for anyone listening, introduce the topic with this podcast. So, make it already an icebreaker and then go from there.
Jaleigh White: Okay, Samantha. I know you all in FMG Suite provide great information on many topics relating to this. How do you help advisors get comfortable with that topic? It's not a financial, per se, the investment topics their used to. So, with your conversations with advisors, how do you help them lean into some of these topics and engage the women clients that they have?
Samantha Russell: Yeah, we have a lot of financial life planning pieces, you know, it is financial, but so much of it is just about life planning and not just the financial part of it, and some of them are about broaching those types of conversations.
Some of the advisors we work with help their clients create a, if something happens, open this document type of a thing. Where we it could be with the husband and the wife sitting down and saying everything from, you know, this is where the legal documents are located, this is where financial documents, but even things like, these are the passwords for Netflix.
I think it sounds kind of funny, but I remember a good maybe year after my husband died, I changed all the credit cards, finally took his name off, and then I couldn't log into anything. It was late at night, and I was trying to put a show on for my kids so I could go do laundry and pack lunches, and I couldn't get anything to work, and I just broke down in tears. And I love the idea of doing the same with your parents.
My dad's about to turn 71. He's actually having a knee replacement surgery this month. And the surgery prompted us to have those kinds of conversations with him. So, I do agree. Like you mentioned the hip, Linda, you know, I think sometimes when something like that's coming, it prompts the conversation, but what happens if you don't have something like that and then it's much more tragic? It's better to have a way to get started.
Jaleigh White: That's so helpful to provide some of that path and share some best experiences so they aren't starting on their own. Angela, what about aging relatives, women you've seen go through it, or if you yourself have gone through, starting those conversations.
It's like, how's this going to work and what role is everyone going to play? That, that sometimes can be as touchy as the conversations with your parents.
Angela Pittman Taylor: Yeah, you know, I haven't had these conversations with my siblings yet, but I'm the youngest of three sisters.
We haven't had these conversations yet, but we did have to have these conversations with my father who passed away in 2014. And we had to have these conversations with him just around what happens. What is going to happen next as his health was declining. They were not easy conversations to have, you know, around how do we plan for this? What do you want this to look like? And then that, what do you want this to look like also turns into like, what's actually possible and what is plausible given like where we all are in our lives and what is possible for us as possible caregivers. And what does the system support and what does your income support and what is all of this?
And it did get a little bit sensitive, but my style is to just kind of march right into the conversation. And then as the pieces fall, you know, we just kind of start to sweep them up a little bit. And I'm comfortable with that, but not everybody is comfortable with that kind of approach.
Even among my sisters, they were not all comfortable with that approach, but, that was the way that we kind of talked about that. But between my husband and I, the conversation started when we had our children and we went in and we were talking about our will and then we had life insurance conversation and we were getting all that paperwork started and in order. And that was, I think, a much easier and more natural conversation because we've always been very aligned about what is important and what are the values and all that – it was kind of a natural continuation of dialogue.
And I think that goes back to something, Linda, you were saying earlier about that ongoing, alignment of interest. That all of those conversations that should naturally be happening as you're partnering. So that I think was how we landed into those conversations, but I do think it's challenging if that topic is never broached at any point in a relationship. And that's where I think this podcast is trying to break through and help to open those doors or continue to encourage people to be having these types of conversation because they should be happening on a regular basis. You're having relationships with people that you care about. Like, these should be regular topics of conversation. They should not be taboo. They should not be things that we're no longer, you know, that we're not speaking about.
We should be talking about these things. They should be out in the open. It shouldn't be things that suddenly we're just discovering. As if we don't know these really important things about next steps in life and times that need to be easier for all of us.
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What core financial preparation should women have?
Jaleigh White: How many of us would think that in our families, we spend more time talking about where we're going on vacation or what restaurants we're eating at than end of life care decisions. But it is so important and those transparent conversations.
Samantha, you mentioned taking your husband off credit cards. If we were in 1970, we couldn't even open up a credit card on our own without our husband's signature. That blows my mind to think about it. It was that short of a period. But we still have women all the time who have no credit score because they've never done anything on their own. So, Linda, just some things that like every woman should have.
What are those base financial knowledge and understanding that even if you delegate that early on to your spouse – what do you need to know and what do you need to have?
Linda Grant-Smith: I was laughing while you said that and I will answer your question, Jaleigh, but my first role model when I entered this business, just out of the 70s and the 80s. She was on her third marriage and she was driving me around to see clients and she said, “Honey, I'm going to tell you some advice and you better listen up.”
She said, “There's two things you need to know. One is you have to have a credit card in your name, build your own credit score.” She said, “Number two is you always call your husband, honey, because you might forget which one you're on.” So, I would definitely recommend that we all have our own credit score and credit history built up.
I would also highly recommend, just as Samantha said, that we know all of the passwords to everything. That can be the most disabling thing. There are programs out there where you can secure your passwords and update them over time and allow one other person to access them. That seems like online the easiest way to go. I'm not endorsing anyone on this program, but we also at Baird have a have an estate organizer where if you like to do things handwritten in pencil, you can update it over time. That would be really awesome. But you've got to understand where your cash flow is coming from and have an inkling of your expenses.
Life insurance, of course, is almost always a must. If it's just term for now, that's fine. But over the long term, you may want a different type of product, disability or long-term care. Long-term care is a tough subject to broach. When I'm with clients, I ask them, “What is the plan for a long-term care event?” Not, “Do you have long-term care insurance?” What is the plan of action? Are we dedicating an asset? Are we dedicating an investment asset? Who's going to care? And back to your discussion, if you can't have this conversation because we're not as bold as Angela, invite a CFP in because the CFP standards now include a lot of behavioral finance and that's intentional because we find ourselves as advisors in situations where we have to navigate conflict or uncomfortable situations.
So sometimes it's easier with a third person. Powers of attorney would be the last piece that I would say is important.
Jaleigh White: Both financial and medical. Who do you really want to make those decisions? When we talk about siblings, often we find that different siblings can step into those roles better. My dad passed six years ago and when he knew that he wasn't going to last a couple more years, he's like, “You're on the healthcare power of attorney. Your mom will not pull the plug. I'm counting on you to do it.” I knew his wishes and I would have done it. He died naturally, but who is better able to help handle that? Who's better able to handle financial affairs.
Sometimes it's geography. You know, people are like, “Oh, we named the oldest child as everything on our power of attorney.” They live across the country from you. They're not going to be able to be there for what you need. So, those discussions among siblings can be really important.
One other thing when you talked about early in your career, one of those moments that I will never forget. I was doing a lot of 401k administration. I was a CPA in my 20s and this lady called, and her husband had passed, and she wanted to talk about getting access to his 401k. I'm like, “sure, come in,” and she came in and I said, “How can I help you? And you know, Betty, I'm just so sorry.” Her face immediately turned scarlet and she's like, “I'm not Betty, I'm Debbie. That was his first wife.” I look back down at the beneficiary designation. I'm like, Oh no. He forgot to change it. They'd been married about 10 years, but he'd worked at this company for 30 years. So one of the other things I think as women, we need to ensure for our own and for our spouses, all beneficiary designations are changed.
My daughter is engaged and she's going to be getting married this year. And we've already started this checklist. And she's like, “Oh, I can't wait to introduce him to my financial advisor.” And I'm like, “and you're going to change all your beneficiaries.” She's like, “Oh yeah, yeah. Write it down.” Afterall, newly married still may have parents on his beneficiary designations. I was in one situation where someone was killed in an accident. They've been married about five years. Parents still on the Benny. So that's just a good thing to physically look at, not just kind of say, “Oh, I'm sure it's fine.”
Linda, how do you see women can deal with the reality that that might happen. I know I've heard you do it. Talk to parents who have significant inheritance coming towards their children about prenups or some ways to structure things around that. That's a very delicate topic when people at the moment are happily married. So how do we help women make sure they're prepared for that curve ball that may come their way or their child's or their sister's way? How do we help in that?
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What resources exist to help women prepare for the unexpected?
Linda Grant-Smith: On the way in today, Trisha Yearwood was singing on the radio. Of course, we're in Nashville, so that's typical. And she was saying, “the toughest thing is to balance love and money,” and you are absolutely right.
When it comes to divorce, prenuptial agreements are sometimes used, when there's wealth in the picture. Postnuptial agreements are extraordinarily hard because you've already made the commitment to each other and now you're trying to define who's going to take what if you don't make it. So, it's almost a cold air blowing right into your face. So, if you find yourself already married and your spouse wants a postnuptial agreement, the best advice is have your own legal counsel. It's really hard for one attorney to represent both parties properly. If there's an inheritance coming your way, we've got to talk to your parents about making sure that it is protected for you, or your husband if it's his family wealth. And we can do that through the use of a trust. We don't create them here at Baird, but we do advise on what's available and what might be appropriate for your situation.
Divorce is really tricky. Again, it goes back to that, communicate, understand. You've got to understand what goes on in your financial family. You don't have to do it all, but you've got to understand it all so you're not caught flat footed or off guard. Those are my pieces of advice.
Jaleigh White: that's what you do every day is the hard stuff. You’re helping people as they go through things in those unexpected curve balls. Any curve balls that we haven't talked about today. I'd say some of them are just our own careers, our own health issues, you know, taking care of ourselves as women. We just don't do that very well. Making it a priority, our own health, our own caregiving. Making sure we have all of our things in order as well for us personally. So, any comments anyone wants to make about just how we take care of our own self in our daily lives.
Samantha Russell: I will say two things. For me, a big thing was, I have a gratitude journal where I would just really focus on what's good and not what's bad. Because it can always be worse as my mom taught me from the time I was young. So, while it's terrible that my husband has brain cancer and all these things, I'm grateful I can take care of him.
I'm grateful that I did have the financial planning in place that I could take a pause for my career. So, I think trying to always find those silver linings really helped.
And then you asked if there were things maybe we didn't cover or didn't think about. One thing that was huge and it just caught me completely off guard was, I tried to find someone once my husband was really confined to the house, couldn't walk anymore, couldn't feed himself. But a lot of the caregiving agencies. All of the workers are caring for the elderly, typically. And so they don't have clearances to be in homes with children. So, that was not something I had really thought about, but it took a very long time to find someone that could work with us because they had to go through all this extra training and paperwork and money to get those clearances.
So sometimes you just don't know what you don't know. But that's where those kinds of things – where working with an advisor who's been through this before and understands, they can give you a heads up about starting the search which is helpful before you actually even get there, because it can take months to put these things in place.
Jaleigh White: Great advice. And that reminds me to talk about resources, Samantha. That at Baird, we have a new member of our planning team, a colleague of Linda's that has a healthcare background in Medicare and related things. But he's now our database of everything. So, one thing that we recently added to his arsenal is to help with mental health or addiction treatment facilities.
We have a consulting firm that will do all case management for clients in that situation. So, we really try to be that comprehensive resource when you don't know where to start. Wouldn't have thought about that being such an issue but it makes sense. But never encountered it. Don't know until you don't know that could be a big issue.
So helpful. Thank you.
Angela Pittman Taylor: So much, particularly in the household with women, rests on our shoulders. And if we are not well, and whole and feeling good about things and cared for, then those things that we're responsible for cannot get done with the quality that they need to get done. So, it is important that we prioritize ourselves so that those things can happen and happen well. And there's a lot of guilt and that goes around with regard to like, no, this is my time.
I need to do this because it's important. I need to be whole and I need to be well and I need to do these things so that I can pour out of this full cup for everyone else. And that's really important. And I know that a lot of people talk about that and there's a lot of rhetoric and everything about that, but it's the actual doing that is really important. So just giving ourselves permission to actually act on that and put us first, because that's really what matters.
Samantha Russell: We've been talking a lot, too, about how to get people talking within families. There's two things that we've done as part of our family culture forever, which we do, I don't know if you've ever heard the rose, the bud and the thorn conversation. So, at dinner you ask, what was your rose? Which was the best part of the day. The thorn, the worst part. And then the bud is a growth opportunity. And so we've always talked about that, whether we're with my parents, siblings, friends.
But I think if you are trying to start conversations, maybe about some of these uncomfortable topics, you could write some of your own. Like, what do you want to be remembered for after you pass away and then starting to talk about death and then ask, “Okay, when you die, do you want to be cremated or have a wake?” And kind of build them into that family culture of dinnertime conversation.
Jaleigh White: Great thoughts. Linda, close us out. What did we not cover today that you want to make sure our listeners know?
Linda Grant-Smith: I wanted to bring a couple more resources to the table that people don't often think about. Your employer may have resources to help you both with medical advocacy and employee assistance, as well as paid time off. So please don't forget about that.
Our company has been really pushing hard in that direction, and I'm thankful. Additionally, I don't know if the listeners know that social security from your husband's work history sticks with you as long as you have children under the age of 18. But after that, you're in the widow's blackout period. If you're under age 60 and your children have left the home or have become adults, you're in a window where you have to figure it out on your own. Social security is a resource, but not all the time. So, I just wanted to bring those things to the forefront before we left.
Jaleigh White: Great. Appreciate that so much.
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Where to find our guests online
Angela Pittman Taylor: Thank you both for joining us. Samantha, where can our listeners find you or connect with you online if they'd like to know more about you and hear more about your expertise?
Samantha Russell: Yeah, thank you. If they go to LinkedIn, it's Samantha C. Russell. And then if you just go to fmgsuite.com, whether you're a current advisor using our services, you can log in and find a lot of the content we talked about in the dashboard.
Angela Pittman Taylor: Excellent. And Linda, how about you? Where can our listeners connect with you?
Linda Grant-Smith: The same on LinkedIn, Linda Grant-Smith. And you can also access me through your Baird Financial Advisor. I'm there to support them in supporting you.
Angela Pittman Taylor: Fantastic. Wonderful. Thank you both so much for being there.
Linda Grant-Smith: Thank you.
Samantha Russell: Thanks.
The information offered is for informational purposes only and should not be regarded as information or advice sufficient on which to make a financial decision. Baird is not a legal or tax services provider and you are strongly encouraged to seek the advice of the appropriate professional advisors before taking any action.
All investments have some level of risk and this should not be considered a recommendation of any products or services discussed today. The opinions are those of the guest and not necessarily those of Baird.
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